Exercises for Navigating Fear of Vulnerability & Dating Anxiety

1. The Three-Part Check-In

Draw three sections for:

• Protector Part

• Hopeful Part

• Spirit-Led Self

Reflect in each section:

• What is this part afraid of?

• What does it want for me?

• How does it try to protect me?

• What would it say if it felt safe?

Close with a simple prayer:“Lord, let my Spirit-led Self lead my decisions in peace.”

2. “What’s the Real Fear?” Journaling Map

Prompts:

• What feels risky about letting someone see the real me?

• What past experiences taught me dating = chaos or pain?

• Which part of me wants love but fears the cost?

• What would it look like if dating brought steadiness, not stress?

Write freely for 10 minutes.

3. Nervous System Grounding for Before (or After) Dates

A. 5-3-5 Breathing

Inhale 5 • Hold 3 • Exhale 5Repeat 7 times.

B. Psalm 23 Grounding

Hand on chest, slowly pray:

• “The Lord is my Shepherd… I lack nothing.”

• “He leads me beside still waters.”

• “He restores my soul.”

Let your body match the calm of these words.

4. “What If It Goes Well?” Reframe

Fold a page in half.

Left column: What I fear will happen…Right column: What could happen if things actually go well?

Let yourself imagine goodness instead of catastrophe.

5. “Who Told Me Love Is Dangerous?” Reflection

Make two lists:

A. Experiences that shaped my fear

(past relationships, broken trust, childhood dynamics, inconsistency, etc.)

B. What God says is true about love

(grace, patience, compassion, steadfastness)

Journal:

• What part of my story is still influencing my view of dating?

• What would healing look like for me?

6. Safe & Unsafe Signs List

Two columns:

SAFE

Consistency, kindness, respect, clarity, steady communication.

UNSAFE

Hot/cold, pressure, dishonesty, emotional chaos, mixed messages.

Circle what you’ve ignored in the past.Star what you want to prioritize now.

7. “Future Me” Visualization

Imagine your healed, grounded future self sitting with you.

Ask:

• What do you want me to know about dating?

• What would you reassure me about?

• What boundaries make me feel safe?

• What am I capable of that I can’t see yet?

Write down the answers.

8. Scripture Truth Replacements

Match each fear with a biblical truth:

Fear: “I won’t know what to do.”Truth: “The Lord gives wisdom” (James 1:5).

Fear: “I’ll be rejected.”Truth: “You are chosen, holy, dearly loved” (Col. 3:12).

Fear: “It will overwhelm me.”Truth: “My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).

9. “One Brave Thing” Practice

Each week choose one small brave action:

• replying to someone

• saying yes to coffee

• stating a boundary

• sharing one honest feeling

• letting someone be kind to you

Healing grows from small, consistent courage.

🌱 Closing Encouragement

You don’t have to rush.You don’t have to be fully healed to try again.You don’t have to let fear tell the story.

Your heart is allowed to open slowly.God walks beside you into every new connection.And He will not let vulnerability become the thing that harms you—He will use it to gently rebuild trust, strength, and hope.