Mental Health Is Not Built by Avoiding Life

It Is Formed by Doing What Is Good, True, and Life-Giving

Many Christians grow up learning faith as a list of “don’ts.”

Don’t drink.

Don’t lust.

Don’t complain.

Don’t get angry.

Don’t rest too much.

Don’t want too much.

While boundaries matter, mental health is not formed by emptiness. It is not created by merely not doing harmful things. A soul does not heal through avoidance alone. Mental health is cultivated through intentional engagement with what is good, beautiful, meaningful, and true.

In counseling, it becomes clear that many believers are not suffering because they are “doing too much wrong,” but because they are not doing enough of what nourishes the soul.

A Faith of “Nots” Leaves the Soul Undernourished

A life focused primarily on restriction can quietly produce emotional starvation. When faith is reduced to self-denial without formation, people may follow the rules yet still feel empty, anxious, or disconnected.

Scripture does not present holiness as the absence of life—but as the presence of love, wisdom, fruitfulness, and renewal.

“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” — John 10:10

Abundant life is not passive. It is practiced.

Mental Health Is Built Through Holy Investment

From a Christian counseling perspective, emotional and psychological health grows when individuals actively invest in:

• Beauty — what draws the heart toward wonder and gratitude

• Goodness — what strengthens character and compassion

• Meaning — what aligns daily life with calling and purpose

• Connection — with God, others, and one’s own inner life

• Embodied care — rest, movement, nourishment, and rhythm

These are not luxuries. They are spiritual disciplines of formation.

Avoiding sin matters—but pursuing goodness is what heals.

Christians Are Not Called to a Smaller Life—But a Fuller One

Jesus did not call His followers into a life of emotional numbness or constant restraint. He called them into transformation.

Paul writes:

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” — Philippians 4:8

Notice the emphasis: think on, engage with, practice, and dwell in what is life-giving.

Mental health improves not only when we stop destructive patterns—but when we intentionally replace them with practices that restore the soul.

“This Is What I Do That Helps Me”

In counseling, healing often accelerates when individuals shift from asking “What should I stop doing?” to asking:

“What faithful practices am I building into my life?”

Here are examples many Christians find grounding and strengthening:

• Choosing daily rhythms of prayer and reflection rather than constant mental noise

• Creating space for beauty—nature, art, music, or quiet creativity

• Practicing emotional honesty instead of spiritual bypassing

• Engaging in meaningful work rather than constant distraction

• Building community instead of isolating in self-sufficiency

• Allowing rest as obedience, not indulgence

These are not self-help strategies. They are forms of stewardship—of the mind, body, and soul God has entrusted to us.

Growth Requires Participation, Not Perfection

Christian mental health is not achieved by moral pressure or flawless behavior. It is formed through faithful participation—showing up to life with intention, humility, and hope.

God does not ask us to heal ourselves—but He does invite us to cooperate with the work He is doing.

Avoidance alone cannot create peace. Discipline without nourishment cannot sustain joy. Obedience without beauty cannot renew the soul.

A Life Actively Lived Before God

Mental health grows when faith becomes something we practice, not merely something we refrain from violating.

Not just what we avoid—but what we build.

Not just what we resist—but what we cultivate.

Not just what we give up—but what we give ourselves to.

Christian flourishing is not found in a life of “nots.”It is found in a life intentionally shaped by truth, beauty, goodness, and grace.

Journaling: Building Mental Health Through What I Practice

1. Moving Beyond a Life of “Nots”

• What are some “don’ts” I learned growing up about faith or emotional life?

• How have these shaped the way I relate to joy, rest, or desire?

• In what ways might my faith have emphasized restraint more than nourishment?

2. What Actually Strengthens Me

• When do I feel most emotionally grounded or spiritually alive?

• What activities, environments, or rhythms tend to calm my nervous system?

• Which practices leave me feeling more connected to God, myself, or others?

3. Beauty as a Spiritual Investment

• Where do I currently experience beauty in my life?

• How does beauty affect my mood, thoughts, or sense of hope?

• What is one simple way I could intentionally invite beauty into my week?

4. Replacing Avoidance With Formation

• What unhealthy patterns am I trying to avoid right now?

• What healthy practice could replace that pattern instead of just removing it?

• How might God be inviting me to build something new rather than just stop something old?

5. Faith That Is Actively Lived

• What does “abundant life” look like for me—not in theory, but in daily practice?

• Which spiritual practices feel life-giving rather than heavy or forced?

• How do I know when I am living from obligation versus alignment?

6. Responsibility Without Shame

• What is my role in caring for my mental and emotional health?

• Where do I confuse responsibility with self-criticism?

• How can I take ownership of my growth while still depending on God’s grace?

7. “This Is What I Do That Helps Me”

• What habits or rhythms help me stay emotionally steady?

• What boundaries protect my peace?

• What practices help me return to truth when old patterns resurface?

8. Nourishment of Mind, Body, and Spirit

• How am I currently caring for my body?

• How am I caring for my thoughts?

• How am I caring for my spiritual life beyond obligation?

9. Cooperation With God

• Where do I sense God inviting my participation rather than passivity?

• What small, faithful step could I take this week?

• How does cooperation with God feel different from striving?

10. Looking Forward

• If I lived a life focused on formation instead of restriction, what might change?

• What would a mentally healthy Christian life look like for me one year from now?

• What practice do I want to commit to cultivating with patience and grace?