When Trust Is Missing Between You and Your Mom: Navigating the Distance With God’s Help

Christi Young
Aug 13
3 min read

For most people, trust with a parent is something that grows over years of consistent care, honesty, and mutual respect. But for some, that trust never fully forms—or it’s been broken along the way. If you’re a young adult whose mom hasn’t built trust with you, the gap between what you needed and what you received can feel like an invisible wall.

This gap may not come from one dramatic event. Sometimes it’s years of smaller moments: promises broken, personal information shared without permission, dismissive responses to your feelings, or unpredictable behavior. Over time, these teach you to guard your heart instead of resting in the safety of your mom’s presence.

Seeing the Pattern Without Self-Blame

Trust is built through:

Consistency – words and actions matching over time.
Respect – honoring privacy and personal boundaries.
Emotional safety – being able to share feelings without fear of judgment or retaliation.

When these aren’t present, you may feel unsafe opening up. This doesn’t mean you’re “too sensitive” or “difficult”—it means the foundation of trust hasn’t been built. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God sees the hurt you carry, and His presence is a safe place when human relationships fall short.

How the Absence of Trust Can Affect You

A strained mother–child relationship can influence:

Your sense of worth – questioning if you are “too much” or “not enough.”
Your relationships – finding it hard to trust friends, partners, or mentors.
Your boundaries – either guarding yourself too much or letting others in without caution.

Being aware of these patterns can help you invite God into your healing and make intentional choices for your emotional and spiritual health.

Moving Forward in a God-Honoring Way

While you cannot rewrite the past, you can choose how you respond now—with wisdom, grace, and self-protection.

Clarify Your Needs Before God Take your longings to Him in prayer. Tell Him where you feel the ache of what’s missing. Psalm 62:8 says, “Pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”
Set Boundaries Without Bitterness Boundaries are biblical. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Limiting how much personal information you share or deciding how often you interact is not dishonoring—it’s healthy stewardship of your emotional well-being.
Choose What You Share If trust is low, it’s okay to share less until she shows she can handle your heart with care. Jesus Himself did not entrust Himself to everyone (John 2:24).
Seek Support in God’s Family Lean into healthy friendships, mentors, and spiritual community. God often provides the love and safety we need through His people.
Leave Room for Change, But Rest in God’s Stability People can change, but true transformation requires humility and God’s work in the heart. You can protect your heart while leaving the door open for reconciliation if it becomes possible.

Building Trust From the Inside Out

Even if trust with your mom remains fragile, you can grow a deep trust in the Lord—and in yourself as His child:

Keep promises you make to yourself, even small ones.
Practice hearing God’s voice in His Word and following His leading.
Speak to yourself with the kindness and truth God speaks over you.

Isaiah 26:3 promises, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Your ultimate safety and peace will never come from another person—it comes from anchoring your heart in the One who will never fail you.

Reflection Questions

What moments stand out to me when I felt unsafe or dismissed by my mom?
How has God met me in the absence of her support?
What boundaries would allow me to interact with her in a way that honors both God and my emotional health?
Where has God provided trustworthy people in my life, and how can I lean into those relationships?
What small ways can I grow my trust in God daily?